(EDITOR’S NOTE:

Merry Xmas from GDC!  What follows is one part technical difficulty, one part Uncle Kaka, and possibly several parts Junior Johnson’s Midnight Moon.  From us to you and yours!

Team GDC)

A couple of weeks ago, I was filling in on recording duties for the GDC podcast. It’s been a while since I have had reason to be recording a Skype call, and your listening pleasure is certainly a fantastic reason for me to embark on the Tolkein-esque escapade of trials and tribulations that I have attempted to trek. Jason, Erik, Mr P and I had a fantastic gripe and grumble about the state of Commander post-C14, as well as tales from the recent GP “Joisey” amongst other topics. Regrettably, due to some unforseen technical issues (cough cough Mr P’s self-admitted ability to EMP my computer clear across the whole globe), the bulk of the recording was rendered unrecoverable.

Sorry guys – not even Uncle Kaka’s formidable “skillz” can make this one better. I can, however, give you guys and girls at least a window into the shenanigans that went down. So without further ado…

The Booze Inspired 2014 General Damage Control Christmas EDH Decklist!

We started out talking about the things in Magic that made us think Christmassy thoughts-

  • Wintry nights
  • Fat, mad bearded, red-suited dudes on sleds being arse-hauled by elk.
  • Crazy contraptions and toys built by mad artificers and elven folk.

What more could one want in a deck?

We talked long and hard about whom we would want as our Christmas Commander. He has to have a beard – a good bushy bastard of a beard. He has to be nice – St Nick is a nice guy, not likely to club one’s brains out unless that person really made the naughty list (I’m looking at you, Oloro players!) 

We needed someone in green at a minimum, as elves tend to be in that color. Elk fortunately fit into the green, white, and blue wedge, and blue and white also helps us with tinkering toys together for playtimes.  As a group, the decision was made that Angus Mackenzie was going to be the man of the moment.  The bro has a seriously boss beard. Secondly, his ability stops damage occurring. What an awesome present to give than to not be dead?

I Have 99 Problems And Not Enough Gift-wrap

So – we know what colours we’re in, we know what our theme is, and we have 99 problems to fill.  Let’s solve them!

The old madman himself rides a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer. Fortnuately, we have a plethora of Elk to choose from. Firstly, we have to recognise the infamous carol – “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”  Call me colour-blind (which I am), but I don’t see any particularly red-nosed Elk on the list. We do, however have a lone blue elk (Wetland Sambar), and we also have elk into Highland Games.

From here, we know the fat guy loves delivering presents to nice people and sacks of Coal Golem to naughty people. As a result, we need toys to give out the pain. Some classics that came to the group brainstorm included Monkey Cage – because nothing is more fun than a barrel of pissed off monkeys. As well, my family has this habit of giving out as stocking fillers little clockwork automations. As such, it is only appropriate to have some clockwork death machines in there. Similarly, the whole drone-copter craze is still well and truly on, so spinning tops, dolls, puzzles and kaleidoscopes are all things that you’ll see come out from under a Christmas Tree.

And then you have armies of bloody mechanical gnomes…

Now, everyone has their own personal preference in tree. I grew up decorating pot plants that otherwise lived in our entrance hall. These days, my wife and I decorate a plastic monstrosity. I am of the opinion that selecting the right tree for you is important…as important as selecting the right Commander for a deck.  To aid in your search, here is a link to all of the treefolk.

Santa also needs a way to deliver those toys into play. Again, we can come to the rescue – we have sleighs to pull and airships to sail, elk to haul them, and weathervanes to help the mission not fail.  We have artificers to design toys, elves to make them, and tinkers and tutors to bring them to bear so we can cast them and break them.

The Actual List

Commander: Angus Mackenzie
Reindeer: 8
Wetland Sambar
Highland Game
Burnished Hart
Glimmerpoint Stag
Gang of Elk
Heliod’s Emissary
Great Sable Stag
Great Hart
The Toychest: 21
Monkey Cage
Sensei’s Divining Top
Armageddon Clock
Bottle Gnomes
Clockwork Gnomes
Copper Gnomes
Ersatz Gnomes
Metrognome
Patchwork Gnomes
Ticking Gnomes
Credit Voucher
Teferi’s Puzzle Box
Diamond Kaleidoscope
Kyren Toy
Roterothopter
Squee’s Toy
Voodoo Doll
Wurmcoil Engine
Clockwork Dragon
Clockwork Hydra
Feldon’s Cane
Santa’s Gear: 5
Arcum’s Sleigh
Arcum’s Weathervane
Arcum’s Whistle
Auriok Siege Sled
Predator, Flagship
The Toyshop: 11
Assembly Worker
Assembly Hall
Toymaker
Volrath’s Laboratory
Arcum Dagsson
Treasure Mage
Trinket Mage
Enlightened Tutor
Reshape
Muzzio, Visionary Architect
Regrowth
Terrain: 40
13 Snow-Covered Plains
13 Snow-Covered Forests
14 Snow-Covered Islands
Almost done now… The Tree! : 1
Yew Spirit
Santa’s Helpers: 14…

Okay – here is where I kind of get a little lazy. The hired help are traditionally elves. I could go through the numerous pages of elflings on Gatherer; however, I want you all to at least have some kind of input to put your own spin on things. Here is your chance:

  1. Rifle through your boxes of junk and stuff in 14 of your favourite elves. 
  2. Add sleeves
  3. Bake for 30 minutes on low temperature
  4. Knock back a few cold beers

 Most of all, enjoy a fantastic X-mas/Hanukah/Whatever season from the team here at GDC.

Love and sacks of coal,

Kaka
@TheKaka Storm