I think people have Innistrad all wrong. Everyone seems to think that it’s a “horror themed” plane, overrun by terrible things and tropes and cliches from Hammer films. How conventional!

Here’s my interpretation; Innistrad is actually the #1 party destination in the multiverse. I mean, look at those people! They know how to party! 

Party vampires

Let’s party!

Odric Gone Wild!

What You Did With It

Looked for mono-White things that have lots of keywords. Found Akroma, which costs 800 mana. Picked up a bunch of equipment that grants keywords. Built Mono-white Equipment Matters.

-What You Could Have Done With It

You know who gets a lot of keywords at a discount? Walls, baby! Is this the new general for your terrible Mono-white Walls deck? I sure hope so!

-What You Should Have Done With It

I find it mildly tragic that this thing doesn’t grant all keywords, because there’s a whole laundry list of detrimental keywords that I would be pumped to get up on, starting with Defender. Why can’t this guy give the entire team Defender? Is he not actually all that inspiring as a Marshall? Unacceptable!

 

Olivia, Up for Anything

-What You Did With It

Ummmm, Red-Black Madness?

-What You Could Have Done With It

Playing the last Olivia as your general was a nice way to get super targeted early on, despite the fact that you were in two colors without mana ramp, with a general that was pretty mana hungry and relatively fragile. I’m not sure this thing is better, but it’s less likely to get you targeted, and could be the General of some rando Super Aggro/Reanimator thing. Have a nice time with that.

Also, Squee. You’re welcome.

-What You Should Have Done With It

Ok! Combo deck!

So, to truly go infinite with this you need to also be in Green, because Basking Rootwalla is the sex, y’all.

Play some dude. It doesn’t matter what it is. Carnival of Souls triggers, giving you a mana and poking you for 1. Ouch! Also, Olivia triggers.

Ok, combo time! Discard Basking Rootwalla to the Olivia trigger! Oh snap! Madness! Free Basking Rootwalla Day! Another Carnival of Souls trigger! More mana! More pokes! Ouch!

There’s a lot of ways to do this next part, but to me the easiest is to have Erratic Portal enchanted with Animate Artifact and Intruder Alarm in play.  Then, in response to the Rootwalla’s Olivia trigger, you can use Erratic Portal to bounce it, and then you can discard it to itself. Oh snap! Madness! Free Basking Rootwalla Day! Also, Intruder Alarm triggers, untapping your animated Erratic Portal for another go. Also, Carnival of Souls pokes you! Ouch!

Rinse, repeat until Carnival of Souls kills you, and/or your opponents scoop because they have no idea what THE GOSH DARN just happened. Combo deck, baby!

Also, you should probably run Exsanguinate in this. “Exsanguinate is a common sight at Commander tables, and for good reason. You’re not going to ramp to 40 and kill people from full health, but it can be brought back again and again with Seasons Past, and even firing it off for a relatively small number will give you an enormous life buffer while weakening your opponents.”

(I plagiarized that last paragraph from StarCityGames.com, because it’s such awesome advice. You’re welcome.)

 

The Party Monster

-What You Did With It

If you’re anything like me, when this thing first got spoiled you got super super excited about the prospect of finally having a ‘Legendary Frog’ to play with. Stupid flavor deck incoming!

Then you went back and actually read the thing, and you realized this is actually one of the more linear generals that’s been printed in the past couple years, and the past couple years for linear generals have been like 1989 for bands with gigantic hair.


-What You Could Have Done With It

Ok, so let’s pretend for a moment that this is a website that focuses on “competitive” decklists, and let’s also pretend that this Generals review isn’t like a month late, and let’s also also pretend that I have any idea how to build a “competitive” EDH deck (I can build EDH decks all day, but I’m rubbish at building anything that could survive a $5 Winner Take All pod at GenCon.)

Ok! So welcome to Fantasy Land, where Mr. P will now help you brew that spicy tuned Party Monster deck to pwn noobs at your LGS! Lookout!

So anyways, the Party Monster is clearly the engine of your deck, insomuch as it allows you to draw cards provided you can keep dumping lands into your graveyard. This means we have to have a bunch of ways to put lands into our hand, ways to get them into the yard, and ways to get them back into the yard to draw more cards. The key is to be able to discard lands for free, so that we can draw more cards. Hopefully while you’re discarding lands, you are also getting some sort of value or benefit from doing so. It seems like the absolute best card deck is probably Skirge Familiar, which means that every time we discard a land we draw a card and get a black mana.

Other decent discard outlets include Putrid Imp (it’s cheap, free, and you can call it P.Imp if you suck), Wild Mongrel (it’s huge!), and a variety of other things. Theoretically, with the Party Monster out we can draw a bunch of extra cards and do something. You’ll also want the requisite pile of Life From The Loam, Crucible of Worlds, Exploration, Oracle of Mul-Daya, Courser of Kruphix, and whatever else allows you to play extra lands, lands from weird places, or whatever.

Once you have a bunch of lands in hand and The Party Monster in play, theoretically you can discard lands and draw into Skirge Familiar, which will allow you to discard a bunch more lands to make black mana, which you can then use to draw things. Eventually, you can cast Creeping Renaissance on “land” to get your lands back to draw a bunch more. At some point,you may want a Cadaverous Bloom to turn your rubbish in hand into more mana.  Ooh, and Squandered Resources because 1996, yo!  Elixir of Immortality allows you to recycle your yard for another go, but you probably want to Retrace Worm Harvest a bunch of times first. Eventually, you will have drawn your entire deck multiple times, bored the entire table to death, and can cast Exsanguinate or some other boring shit for lethal, because combo EDH decks are so much fun. Nice deck list, Mr. P!

Oh, wait! Exsanguinate is a common sight at Commander tables, and for good reason. You’re not going to ramp to 40 and kill people from full health, but it can be brought back again and again with Seasons Past, and even firing it off for a relatively small number will give you an enormous life buffer while weakening your opponents.

Exsanguinate, baby.

-What You Should Have Done With It

Basically anything that isn’t what I just described. Thanks!

 

Sigarda, Party Host

-What You Did With It

She likes Humans. Do you like Humans? Now you do!

-What You Could Have Done With It

You could have taken the foil copy of it that you opened at the Prerelease and traded it when it  was worth something. Clearly you didn’t. Oops.

-What You Should Have Done With It

I’m not generally a fan of always running the best cards (other than Exsanguinate, that is.

Exsanguinate is a common sight at Commander tables, and for good reason. You’re not going to ramp to 40 and kill people from full health, but it can be brought back again and again with Seasons Past, and even firing it off for a relatively small number will give you an enormous life buffer while weakening your opponents.). However, is there any reason why you would run this over the original version of Sigarda? How is this possibly better?

Go with yourself.

 

Avacyn, Party Ruiner

-What You Did With It

Played Angels tribal. Never flipped Avacyn, because of the “non-Angel creature” clause. Oops.

-What You Could Have Done With It

I know that theoretically you can build something Red/White that isn’t Super Aggro Go Go Go RAWR!, but I’m still unclear as to what else I’m supposed to do with this thing. Some sort of weird control shell? Maybe something with things that give your team Protection from Red and a bunch of sacrifice outlets?

-What You Should Have Done With It

Play Glorious Anthem. Play Coalhauler Swine. Play Boros Reckoner. Play Spitemare.  Play Mogg Maniac. Play Furnace of Rath and Dictate of the Twin Gods. Sacrifice something useless to flip Avacyn. Stack your triggers. Something just happened! Oh dang!

 

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BONUS!

Here’s my 5 months late Generals review of Oath of the Gatewatch! Lookout!

 

White Black Other Lifegain Thing

-What You Did With It

Let’s role-play!

You are Cassidy. You edit a website dedicated to EDH, which is semi-ironic because 65% of the time, when you actually play EDH you have a miserable time and want to punch people.  (That seems low… – Cass)

One day you decide to build this, for some reason (Cass, please insert your WB other life gain thing list here!)

(SURE Cass):

[spoiler title=”Cass’ Ayli, Eternal Pilgrim Decklist”]Yeah, so I took that shit apart. Here’s what happened –

I built the thing, tremendously excited to try to break into some new untapped areas at the shop with a new general in a color combination I typically suck at. Sac outlet, right? That’s sweet. There were a bunch of decent cards like Swords to Plowshares and Debtors’ Knell, and it was trying to sort-of leverage the general while really being some cool reanimator hybrid deck that flashes in Massacre Wurm to totally school the unsuspecting tokens players in the area.

What *actually* happened was that I ended up a target for just enough damage to keep me off of the second ability.

Then, I reanimated Kokusho, the Evening Star. That was a mistake. The table reared up and killed me, and then two-thirds of the players went home and built nearly the same deck, but with 100% more Demonic Tutor for Rise of the Dark Realms.

So long story short, the answer to Mr. P’s first statement is that you were probably at my table that night.[/spoiler]

-What You Could Have Done With It

Did you know that Edgewalker makes this thing free? What a weird card!

-What You Should Have Done With It

Wait, what does this card do again? (Goes and looks it up.) Oh, right; life gain and board control. Ummmm, maybe a bunch of Persist/Undying guys and/or Deathpact Angel? Salty!

Also, Exsanguinate is a common sight at Commander tables, and for good reason. You’re not going to ramp to 40 and kill people from full health, but it can be brought back again and again with Seasons Past, and even firing it off for a relatively small number will give you an enormous life buffer while weakening your opponents.

Get on it!

Five Color Allies

-What You Did With It

Five-Color Allies.

-What You Could Have Done With It

Five-Color Allies.

-What You Should Have Done With It

Five-Color Allies.

 

Kalitas, Now Playable

-What You Did With It

Sat down at a table with a Mimeoplasm player, a Chainer player, and a Sedris player. Cackled evilly.

-What You Could Have Done With It

Mono-black Zombie mill? Mono-black mono-removal, with bonus Zombies?

-What You Should Have Done With It

Somewhere on the GDC Slack channel, current SCG resident/GDC expat Erik was talking about his Green/White Functional Reprints list. Could you do something similar in Black? Off the top I’ve got two versions of Krovax, a bunch of crappy 2/1s that may or may not have figured out how to block, and a bunch of uninteresting removal and card draw. What a fun deck idea!

Also, Exsanguinate is a common sight at Commander tables, and for good reason. You’re not going to ramp to 40 and kill people from full health, but it can be brought back again and again with Seasons Past, and even firing it off for a relatively small number will give you an enormous life buffer while weakening your opponents.

Ok then!

 

Newzilek

-What You Did With It

Drew some cards! Countered something! Played colorless things!

-What You Could Have Done With It

Uh, you tell me?  Maybe you want a colorless general that’s is, like, kinda OK? I have no idea?

-What You Should Have Done With It

Can we make “Get Wasted” a thing? A bunch of Wastes and other things (like “the great distortion”, for example) that seem to indicate that your deck is intoxicated? Sure, this idea sux, but who cares! Get Wasted, y’all!

 

Red Fish Blue Fish

-What You Did With It

My hat is old! My teeth are gold!

-What You Could Have Done With It

I have a bird I like to hold!

-What You Should Have Done With It

My shoe is off! My foot is cold!

 

Linvala, the Less Expensive One

-What You Did With It

Wait, what does this do again?  Oh, right.  Have you ever wanted to build an EDH deck that runs a bad flying Thragtusk as a general?

-What You Could Have Done With It

Have I mentioned that I refer to Thragtusk as “Thraggypants” for no reason other than I’m Mr. P and that’s how I talk?  It’s nice in here!

-What You Should Have Done With It

Not played it, which is what you did with it.  You have excellent taste.

 

Green Red Trample People

-What You Did With It

Built some Red-Green Extra Lands and Trample thing? Red-Green Dinosaurs?

-What You Could Have Done With It

The challenge with using this to build either a “Lands Matter” or a “Trample Matters” deck is that, comparatively speaking, there are WAY better options for either. Want to play Lands Matter? Tell me again how this is better than New Omnath (Newnath?). Want to play Trample Matters? Tell me again how this is better than Stonebrow or Xenagod. Want to play sorting angry? Tell me again how this is better than Dragonlord Double Strike Guy. The list goes on.

-What You Should Have Done With It

Are we at critical mass yet of “single creatures that represent multiple people” yet? This thing is an Elf, and there are a whole bunch of plural Elves, so let’s say that the best thing to do with this thing is build Plural Elves.  Have fun with that!

-@thingsMrPthinks

———————-
Mr. P would like you to know that Exsanguinate is a common sight at Commander tables, and for good reason. You’re not going to ramp to 40 and kill people from full health, but it can be brought back again and again with Seasons Past, and even firing it off for a relatively small number will give you an enormous life buffer while weakening your opponents.