There seems to be some controversy about the EDH banned list. Should they ban more cards? Should they take cards off the list? Should it even exist?
Don’t worry, y’all. I got this.
So it was Saturday. I went to the Planechase release event, which I organized at my local game store because I knew that Planechase was coming out, and I knew there was a promo card, and I know that no one would do anything, so I talked my guy into calling his distributor to get the promo card, because I knew that Wizards wasn’t going to promote this since they’ve only got like three more weeks of promoting Avacyn Restored before M13 comes out, and I knew that was a silly idea, but I don’t work for them, right?
Editor’s Note: This piece was originally published on August 6, 2014. Because we actually have a lot of interesting content on the site that has been out there forever, occasionally we’re going to unearth something like this that is germane to current EDH conversations. If any of you read Sheldon’s article on SCG (go google it), it may have gotten you thinking about the banned list. So here’s Mr. P delivering some serious truth with his usual, snarky brilliance.
Here’s a list of cards that should be banned in EDH:
Hey, that was fun!
XO, ->Mr. P
I think people have Innistrad all wrong. Everyone seems to think that it’s a “horror themed” plane, overrun by terrible things and tropes and cliches from Hammer films. How conventional!
Here’s my interpretation; Innistrad is actually the #1 party destination in the multiverse. I mean, look at those people! They know how to party!
Hi! I’m hoping you can help me with my rando theme deck I made. I really like this particular General, and I had this cool idea for what to do with it. Here’s my decklist:
[spoiler title=”Rando Noob’s Deck”]Copy/Paste results of edhrec.com general search here[/spoiler]
I really like these particular cards, because I like the way they interact with the general and/or I think they have cool art.
Can you please help me make my deck cooler and more interesting?
EDH is a format that is all about finding something cool, and doing it. It’s a chance to play cards that normal people would think you are insane for playing. It’s all about originality, creativity, and doing what you like.
That sounded sincere, right? Ok, good! So anyways, from looking over your list, it’s really clear that you are missing three key components of all Commander decks:
Let’s get on it!
So first off, let’s cut these ten cards that you chose because they connected with the “theme” of your deck. That’s nice and all, but let’s replace them with Ramp. After all, you are going to want to cast your spells! Are you in Green? If not, let’s add in Green so that you can Ramp. Sure, you’ll have to change your General, but who cares? It’s not like you chose it for a reason or anything.
Cool, so now we’re going to move to the Tutors. Looking over your list, I see a substantial dearth of Tutors, so let’s cut these twelve cards and replace them with Tutors. Are you in Black already? Black has the best Tutors, so let’s put that in. Cool? Cool!
Finally, I see a depressing lack of Staples in this thing. You aren’t even running Exsanguinate! Exsanguinate is a common sight at Commander tables, and for good reason. You’re not going to ramp to 40 and kill people from full health, but it can be brought back again and again with Seasons Past, and even firing it off for a relatively small number will give you an enormous life buffer while weakening your opponents.
So anyways, let’s cut these twenty-two cards and replace them with whatever the 22 most played out and overpowered GoodStuff cards possible are. Rise of the Dark Realms? Insurrection? Tooth and Nail? Toss ‘em in, baby!
With regards to the lands, let’s put in every fetch land, every shock, Revised dual, and Winding Canyons. Boom! Manabase!
So anyways, now you have a Commander deck that you can be proud of. Sure, it will do the same boring thing every single game, but you’ll be too busy grinding wins to care! After all, that’s why we play this format!
See you next time, when I give the exact same advice to some other Rando Noob!
So it’s been a while, and I’ve been slacking like a boss. I believe the last one of these atrocities I dropped on the world was back when Magic: Origins was the new set, and then Cass’s life went pear shaped and Dave had a baby and GenCon happened and I bought a house and then it’s February and I still haven’t even said anything snarky about the Experience Counter Debacle of 2015. Let’s start to fix that, shall we?
What is the most obvious thing you can do with it?
Wow! Nice starting point! This thing is terrible!
How does it compare to previous generals?
Mono white has a long history of terrible Legends. Meet the newest member of that pantheon.
(DISCLAIMER: This is not personal. I am not talking about you specifically. The only person I am talking about specifically in this article is Mr. P. Don’t take this personally unless you have reason to.)
Hey, did you read Cassidy’s article from Friday? Go read that!
Ok! So, maybe some of the things he said don’t apply to you. Maybe some of the things he said offended you. It’s all good. Mr. P loves you, baby!
(For reals! I was originally going to write this article as a comment on Cass’s article, but I don’t want to deprive any of y’all of this gold! Lookout!)
Here’s an Open-Response Question, just for you!
You are playing a game of EDH against your pet goldfish, Chuck. Chuck has no cards in hand, and has just sacrificed all of his lands to Zuran Orb, ignoring that Forsaken Wastes is in play (He’s a goldfish, after all.) There are no creatures in play.
The rules committee recently changed the Tuck Rule. You may have heard about it.
I personally don’t give two hoots about the new Tuck Rule, although I do think the part about how if your General would be bounced it can now go back to the Command Zone is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard.
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