The rules committee recently changed the Tuck Rule. You may have heard about it.

I personally don’t give two hoots about the new Tuck Rule, although I do think the part about how if your General would be bounced it can now go back to the Command Zone is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard.

What. The name has “boot” in it. Deal.

Also, I’m apparently the only person alive who cares about the bounce part of the rules change; I ain’t seen no petition trying to get the rules committee to change the Bounce Rule now have I? Anyone want to quit the format this week because Unsummon no longer gets there? Grow a pair, y’all.

Here’s the real thing, though; the best part of the rules announcement was the absolutely inexplicable logic for why they were changing the tuck rule. I can accept that they want the rules to work correctly, and that’s fine, but getting people to run less tutors? Slow down.

Look, people run tutors in their EDH decks because tutors are good cards that allow you to find other good cards, and good cards are the heart and soul of the format, regardless of what anyone wants to tell you. People run tutors because they want to win games (or because they want to stop other people from winning games.) Not having your General tucked will most likely make it easier to win the game, but it’s not going to stop you from running Demonic Tutor.

Wait, hold on, I’m writing a serious article! I’m Mr. P! What’s happening?

Let’s try a different approach on this. I’m a team player. Let me help the Rules Committee out. It’s really easier than you might think. Here is a definitive list of real reasons to run less tutors in EDH.

REASONS TO RUN LESS TUTORS IN YOUR EDH DECKS (by Mr. P)

(Editor’s note: The different heading style makes it official. Like a book.)

  1. None of the cards in your deck are worth tutoring for.
  2. Your hands aren’t big enough to shuffle your library.
  3. You’ve rejected the idea of wanting things.
  4. Your deck is 99 Shadowborn Apostles and 1 Swamp. You’ll eventually Mulligan into that Swamp.
  5. You’re lazy.
  6. You don’t own any tutors.
  7. You like it when games end fast. Not having any answers in your deck, or ways to find them, is a great way to make games end fast.
  8. Running less tutors allows you more space for red Wacky! effects.
  9. Every time you search your library, you get distracted by the pretty pictures and reading the flavor text. Please stop that.
  10. The outcomes of the games are meaningless to you. They’re just games, after all.

Boom! Put that in your next rules announcement, son! It’s hot!

(Insert comment pandering outro here.) Don’t comment. I think it’s pandering. Instead, learn to write hot articles like me.

XO,
->Mr. P