The good news:

You saved your pennies and bought a ticket to the Magic Cruise!

The bad news:

You went infinite with Riku and Time Stretch in a casual game on the first night of the cruise.  Your co-players rioted in response, tied you up, and tossed you into a lifeboat.  By morning, you’ve drifted up onto the beach of an uncharted island off the coast of Vancouver. 

Congratulations, Gilligan!

Fortunately, you’ve thought to bring the essentials with you; sealed in a waterproof bag in your back pocket are a box of matches, a survival knife, and some deodorant.  (Come on…you’ve been to a regional Prerelease…you think that times ten on a cruise ship is going to be pleasant to the ol’ olfactory nerve?)

Also included is your Magic: The Gathering Care Kit…a selection of a general, as well as one card of each card-type to get you through the balmy days and chilly nights.

Here’s what would come with me:

General – Progenitus

My sweet personally-altered Conflux version:

 It keeps me open to playing all five colors in a pinch, is incredibly hard to deal with, and should be able to hang no matter who else washes up on shore. 

Artifact – Legacy Weapon

I’m in all five colors already, so I may as well aim for maximum value.  I can handle *anything* with everyone’s favorite Disembodied Planeswalker Head (We’re going with 10th in foil, to protect from the salty air…), and let’s face it…high replay value, since it can recur itself.

Creature – Colossus Of Sardia

This was the first creature I ever fell in love with.  We’re talking back in the days of Scrye Magazine and no such thing as the internet here; when I was introduced to the game, Antiquities had just been discontinued and Revised was just hitting the shelves.  Since we had a relatively insular gaming community in rural New England, the most info I could glean about new cards beyond what I saw in the local shop was from the checklists in Scrye, and the ads in the back for the mail-order dealers.  It was quite some time before I got my hands on one, but just from reading the name I knew this guy was going to be the biggest creature ever.  He made my Force Of Nature look tiny in comparison.  (Instill Energy was the nut-high as far as my combos went back then…)

Sorcery Time Walk

This card holds a place near and dear to my heart.  Once we started to branch out a bit and find new groups of players, we started to get an inkling of an idea that we might have missed a few things that came before Revised.  Again, with the trusty help of Scrye, we learned what the Power 9 was.  Time Walk blew my mind from moment I saw the card; the classic abstract Amy Weber art, the unbelievable effect, the dirt-cheap cost…I had to have one. 

Fun Fact: This was the first card I ever mail-ordered…and the second card I ever mail-ordered.  I bought one from a dealer in the back of Scrye (I had to call for availability, and then send a check for payment.  These were the dark ages, folks…), and had barely played it more than a handful of times when a chance opportunity popped up at a tournament we were running at the local community center.

Somehow, a trio of older players from some other town had caught wind of the tourney, and showed up to play.  I was paired with one of them a few rounds in, and played my Time Walk as part of my Storm Seeker/Fork/Underworld Dreams creatureless build. 

“I need that!” he said to me.  “Will you trade it?”
“Ehhh…”  I wasn’t crazy about the idea.
“We don’t have one of those in our cardpool…I can make it worth your while”
“Ehhhh….”  Frowns.
‘We have a Mox Emerald…”

In the end, I entertained the trade, in what turned into possibly the most painful ordeal this guy probably ever experienced.  I wish I was kidding when I say it took multiple hours to complete.  The Unlimited Emerald hit the table, followed by several Revised dual lands, an Ali From Cairo, Sword Of The Ages, and Mirror Universe.  (At the time, all of these cards were considered “money cards”, so this was already *way* lopsided…)

I dragged my heels. 

“Ehhhh….I dunno…”

The tournament ended.  There we sat, him agonizing over the offer, me trying and failing to convince myself to part with my beloved card.  Finally, one of his friends came over.

“We need to go.  Throw this in.”

…?!?!?!

“Deal!”

And on Monday afternoon, I was on the phone to the dealer, asking if they had another Time Walk in stock…

Instant – Gather Specimens

This gets a slight nod over both Wild Ricochet and Cauldron Dance.  Specimens is just a huge, satisfying swing no matter if you’re stealing a general with it, or blowing everyone out responding to Warp World.  Strangely, this card has never recieved a reaction other than raucous laughter when it has been played in our local group.  That speaks volumes in my book.

Enchantment – Rhystic Study

There was an honest time when I was convinced Mind’s Eye was better even in blue decks.  I have no idea what I was thinking…

Planeswalker – Elspeth, Knight-Errant

Honestly, I’m not a huge fan of planeswalkers in general.  This one gets the nod simply because I had it in a proliferate deck designed to just cheat ultimate abilities off as much as possible, and I created an emblem in Magic Set Editor that used a picture of Jesse Ventura as Captain Freedom in The Running Man:

 (Can I bring the emblem too?  Otherwise, I may just take Jace so I can trade with the locals for a canoe…)

Land – Hmmm…

This is a tossup…either:

Faerie Conclave to catch a ride out of here, or

Rishadan Port…gotta be a boat along sometime soon.

If all else fails, I guess I can’t go wrong with Safe Haven.  🙂

What would you bring?

—>DJ