EDHMARCHMADNESSHEADER

Day one was exciting. We saw a number one seed knocked out by a wild card. We saw mono-white wiped clean out of the tournament. It was a bad day for dragons and angels, but a great day for elves and elementals. Let’s see if this set of matches can keep the excitement going.

(A quick side note. If you’re wondering or have forgotten how we assess points, deck construction, and anything else, please refer back to the post announcing our March Madness tourney.)

Here’s the bracket, because we know you all just want to see the results.


Click the bracket above to launch a nicer, large image in a new page.

Yore-Tiller Conference

Maralen of the Mornsong vs. Kresh the Bloodbraided

In the Star City writers feature matchup we got to see the ever-popular Kresh face off against the begging-to-be-banned Ad Nauseam[card] deck. Maralyn broke out to an early lead, since it prays on the surprise of its unsuspecting victims. However, everyone figured out what was happening and  tried to prepare themselves to stop it. It turned out that selling your soul for luck can work out; Maralyn was able to squeak out a victory past the groans and complaints of anyone in the vicinity. The best part of these games was when the Maralyn player left the room so no one had to hear them talking anymore.

Winner: Maralen of the Mornsong, Score: 36-27

[card]Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker vs Grand Arbiter Augustine IV

We really should have learned from Tolkien that goblins never win. More than that, we should have figured out that a good soldier doesn’t always make a good leader. Kiki-Jiki is a powerful card, so I won’t spend my time tap dancing on his grave even when we are all tired of seeing combos based around him. GAAIV earned his noble title while he beat up the goblins like they owed him church tithes. I can only hope he gets defeated soon, so I don’t have to keep writing the most obnoxiously long title of any Commander in the tournament.

Winner: Grand Arbiter Augustine IV, Score: 38-12

Witch-Maw Conference

Azusa, Lost but Seeking vs. Skithiryx, the Blight Dragon

Our panel of experts all agreed that even though Azusa was ranked much higher, she was going to have a hell of a time beating a flyer with infect. We didn’t take into account pre-sideboarding color hosers. Go and look up two cards for me: Elephant Grass and Lifeforce. Guess what kind of permanent black has the hardest time dealing with? Azusa was somehow even immune to the poisonous tears of unfathomable shame that Skittles was crying. Or I assume she was because she was drinking them up like Kool-Aid.

Oh yeah, she won this one.

Winner: Azusa, Lost but Seeking, Score: 20-10

Karn, Silver Golem vs. Zur the Enchanter

Do I really need to tell you what happened here? I wish I could say Karn fought the good fight and Zur shook his hand and they walked away with a greater respect for each other. I wish I could tell you that, but that’s not what happened. Zur beat Karn, then Zur tore apart Karn’s metal body and turned it into silverware that Zur then passed on to his grandchildren. Well, almost all of the body. I think he kept the spine to use as a back scratcher and the spark to use as a new light in his bathroom. Turns out a Commander that tutors for lock and combo pieces is pretty good against mono brown things.

Winner: Zur the Enchanter, Score: 40-8

Captain Sisay vs. Bruna, Light of Alabaster

Captain Sisay has one of the greatest toolboxes available to a Commander. It’s like fighting against 20 other Commander decks at once. I say that so that you understand that what happened shouldn’t reflect poorly on Bruna. Captain Sisay has a deck full of silver bullets, so if an opposing Commander can only operate on a single access of play, she will shut it down. Bruna is all about enchantments, so when Captain Sisay found a Tranquil Grove, there was nothing Bruna could do. I will say this – I’m not sure what kind of angel you can call yourself when a small peaceful forest completely and utterly undoes you, but I’m betting it’s not a good kind of angel.

Winner: Captain Sisay, Score: 64-10

Ink-Treader Conference

Wort, the Raidmother vs. Bladewing the Risen

This really hasn’t been a good tournament for Dragons. What we saw in this fight is the same thing we have seen the whole tournament over. They are just too slow and don’t have enough power for their cost. They concern themselves too much with amassing riches, so they find themselves being outwitted and overrun by creatures that don’t claim to be either great or powerful. Maybe if they spent less time sleeping in a blanket of gold and more time learning how to use their powers they wouldn’t keep getting killed off. Right now they seem to just be giant cows with wings. Translation – Wort did her thing, and 28 Forks later the undead was dead again.

Winner: Wort, the Raid Mother, Score: 54-17

Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre vs. Child of Alara

Child’s plan is to have repeated temper tantrums that destroy everything around it until players give up and just let it have what it wants. Sadly for this Child, Eldrazi drink that special kind of wine that mothers prefer…the kind that makes them deaf to the cries of their own children. Ulamog was largely unaffected by the destruction that the Child tried to rain down on the table. He just Annihilated like he does and that was game(s).

Winner: Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre, Score: 36-27

Glint-Eye Conference

Kaalia of the Vast vs. Godo, Bandit Warlord

Oh boy, was I excited for this matchup. I was ready to see some fire-blooded aggressive decks smash into each other at full speed. Kaalia was giving a pep talk to her legion of epic creatures while Godo prepared to make his Spartan stand against the oncoming horde. Godo prepared himself and began to charge, only to trip and accidentally impale himself on his own Sword of Shame and Disgrace. I don’t know what colors it was supposed to give protection from, but it didn’t stop Kaalia from arresting him and then taking her time to slop out a win in the most lackadaisical manner imaginable. She didn’t even have to bust out a fast demon followed by Armageddon and she still swept the table several times. Hopefully her bout with Animar will be a bit more exciting.

Winner: Kaalia of the Vast, Score: 25-7

Olivia Voldaren vs. Mikaeus, the Unhallowed

Vampires against zombies? Are you serious? This should be awesome. Wait, vampires can’t drink zombie blood. I guess what made Last Blood exciting was that the vampires had some humans to protect. Without the humans, I think the zombies just wait until the sun comes up and eat the vampires while they sleep? Yep, looks like that’s what happened. Olivia took a nap and Mikaeus had a snack.

Winner: Mikaeus, the Unhallowed, Score: 41-4

Damia, Sage of Stone vs. Sedris, the Traitor King

In yet another sweet creature-feature we got to see the king of zombies face off against the queen of the Gorgons. This battle was fought Tooth and Nail. Damia was able to sling spells continually throughout the matches while Sedris leveraged the treasure trove of resources in his yard. In the end, Damia was able to sneak out the advantage by annihilating the graveyard with Leylines while Sedris just could not slow down her card draw in order to stage a come back. Sedris tried to bring about the end of days, but the stony stare from Damia froze him in place. But only just barely and not every game by any stretch.

Winner: Damia, Sage of Stone 20-19

OK!  So we’re most of the way through round one. Hope things are going well for you. We’re certainly having fun watching the results.

Until Friday

Team GDC