Good evening, everyone! If you’re tuning in to catch the piece that I mentioned I would be putting up earlier in the day…well, this ain’t it. I put a nice bit of work into a breakdown and analysis of the revised criteria for adding and subtracting cards from the Banned List that the EDH Rules Committee released last week that no-one noticed due to the Primeval Titan news. I put it on a memory stick and brought it to work to upload this morning.
The file was corrupted somehow.
So I got home tonight, got my son to go to sleep, fired up the Ravens/Browns game, and opened the laptop to upload the original.
It turns out that I should have used the iPad that I spent a bunch of money on for the express purpose of writing, instead of trusting the busted old virus-laden boat anchor I wrote it on instead. Live and learn.
So you’ll get that piece as soon as I re-write it in the next few days. For now, though, I’ll pay tribute to the Return to Ravnica Prereleases that are going down this weekend in the manner I’ve grown very accustomed to doing it.
Which is complaining. Clearly. Well…a little, anyway. Lets have some fun with a little light-hearted look at the future.
I give you My Return To Ravnica Prerelease Experience Prediction!
STARTING THE DAY
*Cool…now I’m awake and lucid. Time to get together draft sleeves, dice, a trade binder, and a messenger bag to carry it all.
*Except now my son is awake. Time to change diapers. Awesome.
*Good…that’s done. Think about breakfast. Make a bagel. Watch Declan eat half of it before running over my toe with his new Batmobile thing. Still hungry and now in pain.
*Wake up wife. Tell her I’m taking a shower. Threaten to open the front door and let Declan run free if she doesn’t get up and watch him.
*Ah…warm shower. Clean. Smelling fresh. This will likely be the last time things smell good all day. Mentally prepare for gamer funk.
*Wife is complaining about the trash and recyclables. Grumble, put on bathrobe, take both out. Now I’m covered with soda and smelling like last nights’ quiche.
*Shower the second.
*Go to get dressed. Find out that Declan has deposited a half-eaten peach on the t-shirt I pulled out to wear today.
*Spend twenty minutes looking for car keys. Eventually find them behind the couch, along with one of Declan’s shoes and a potato chip.
*Time for a walk before I go? Good…I can push the stroller and get a head-start on that gamer funk already.
*Kiss family goodbye. Get poked in the right eye by an excited 15-month old.
*Hit the road.
*Head back to get wallet.
*Hit the road again.
*Head back for messenger bag with supplies in it.
*On the road for real. Stop for gas. Step in pool of unleaded in front of the pump. Smell like a refinery for the rest of the day.
*Ah…Dunkin’ Donuts. Order large French vanilla, cream and sugar. Sausage, egg and cheese on an Everything bagel.
*Hit the highway. Discover coffee is Hazelnut and bagel is Onion.
*Reach for sunglasses. Hey…Declan pulled off one side. Awesome.
So far, so good…
*Show up “early”. Find out that I just made the cut, and there are 87 players in a space that can comfortably hold about 35.
*Try to sign up. Find out the only guild left is Selesnya, and the credit card machine is down.
*Walk to the store. Buy a water in order to get some cash back. Get charged $3.50.
*Pay cash and enter the event. Sorry…the shop is now all out of Prerelease promo cards.
*Gamer funk already. Big sweaty guy is loudly proclaiming he read ChannelFireball coverage and knows how to break the format already. Smells from ten feet away.
*Ask if there’s time to step out for lunch before things start. No, deck construction is about to be announced.
*One hour and fifteen minutes later, get seated for deck construction.
*Big sweaty guy is seated to my immediate right. Shocking.
*No on-color bombs. Three rares end up being the ones offered as Prerelease promos.
*Sweaty guy just opened three on-color bomb rares and a foil Hallowed Fountain.
*Piece together something resembling a deck. Get forced into three colors with no mana fixers and no real removal.
*Someone takes up the entire deck construction period, plus another fifteen minutes.
*Pairings? In a few minutes. 20 minutes later, sit down for a match.
*Mana screw game one. Mana flood game two. Good times.
*Good lord, the smell.
*Step outside in time to hear your first round opponent telling his friend about the ‘noob’ he just ‘crushed.’
*Head back in. Door prizes! The first guy gets three packs of RTR. Get handed a badge holder.
*Round two pairings are up!
*Absolutely steamroll opponent in the first game.
*Get crushed by new opponent in two quick games. He proceeds to point out play errors I made over the two games. Very thoughtful.
*Hit up the soda machine for a Diet Coke. It spits out a Fresca instead.
*Maybe some trading between rounds? Pull three cards from some kid’s binder. Watch as he pulls out an iPhone and looks each one up on StarCityGames and quotes prices to the penny.
*Round three! Sit down across the table from a nine-year-old kid. His deck is unsleeved.
*But he does have double Carnival Hellsteed. GG.
*He reports his win, waves to a friend, and says he needs to drop and go home.
*Door prizes! Someone just won a copy of From The Vaults: Realms. Contemplate burning the badge holder.
*The store owner brings in pizza for everyone. Finally something positive!
*Round four. But not before a grease stain on my nice white t-shirt.
*Opponent snaps through cards incessantly and calls a judge three times in two games.
*Lose the round, but take game two.
*That’s the end, folks! Scores are being tallied.
*Next to last place. Yay.
*Turns out last place gets a consolation prize. RTR Fat Pack.
Loving life here, folks.
*Nice door ding on the car.
*Matches the parking ticket beautifully.
*Rough drive home. So tired. Falling asleep. Can’t wait for bed.
*Get home. Head straight to bed. Happily crawl in and start to nod off. Best I’ve felt all day.
…Is that crying on the baby monitor?
. . . . .
Hopefully, it’s not all that bad. The plan as it stands is to try to get in on a Saturday and a Sunday event. Rakdos one day, Izzet the other; I figure I’ll try aggression first, and then go for finesse and cards I actually want for decks.
Of course, space is limited at these things now, and with only a single flight per store, no drafts, and what is turning out to be one of the biggest-hyped sets of all time, who knows what will actually happen.
Mark my words…if you’re headed out to a Prerelease this weekend, show up early. Oh, and I know this always comes up, but please, for the love of all that is holy, Wizards of the Coast-
Bring Back The Big Regional Prereleases!
Anyway, we’ll see how it goes. I’m hoping to reverse my current trend of 0-2 dropping out of sealed events, which has been going strong since Scars Of Mirrodin. Fingers are crossed.
I’ll have some details on how things really went Monday, so please drop back in. And if you do plan on getting out to play this weekend, have a blast. RTR looks like one of the best limited sets in a long time, and there are boatloads of EDH goodies to be had. In fact, we’ll take a look at what delivers from the set next week as well.
Have a great weekend, everyone!