I love metal.

…Let me start again.

Flash of Iron, Leather, Spikes, and Swords!  (OK…so what you have to imagine is me and my homie at Amherst doing our radio show and jumping on the desks and indie rock couches head banging to this song by ourselves once a week. That’s about how pumped I am for this deck.)

So I’ve never brought the brown beats, and Sydri was all it took to get me on the rock-metal plan. The Esper Terese Nielson 2/2 was spoiled, and I dreamed of hitting in with Darksteel Ingot for exactsies. Ported Sharuum the Hegemon I knew this would not be.

They’d throw parties for me, I’d have a giant float in the Thanksgiving parade, and all the cool kids would high five me for fighting the good fight and winning while adhering to a strict, and arguably weak theme.

Thus was born Galvanic Metal Beats.

There are a bajillion good artifacts, and an Esper artifact deck may be the actual easiest shell in which to accidently go combo, so I expanded on my dreams by establishing a restriction: no “dudes.” I ultimately relaxed that a bit for Karn, the Original Sad Robot, and Hannah, whose captain flavor has very little to do with her card mechanics.

Then of course, the restriction of no unbounded loops (infinite combos) was a must because snore. None.

I spent about two weeks on Gatherer, Excel, and TappedOut trying to put something cool that worked together. A bunch of cuts later, here’s the list.

[Deck title=Galvanic Metal Beats]
[Spells]
1 Blinkmoth Urn
1 Chromatic Lantern
1 Clock of Omens
1 Crystal Shard
1 Darksteel Forge
1 Darksteel Ingot
1 Darksteel Plate
1 Elixir of Immortality
1 Gilded Lotus
1 Howling Mine
1 Ichor Wellspring
1 Icy Manipulator
1 Illusionist’s Bracers
1 Krark-Clan Ironworks
1 Meekstone
1 Memory Jar
1 Mimic Vat
1 Mind’s Eye
1 Mirrorworks
1 Mycosynth Wellspring
1 Nihil Spellbomb
1 Noetic Scales
1 Planar Portal
1 Portcullis
1 Prototype Portal
1 Reito Lantern
1 Rings of Brighthearth
1 Sculpting Steel
1 Sensei’s Divining Top
1 Sol Ring
1 Spine of Ish Sah
1 Staff of Nin
1 Strionic Resonator
1 Surveyor’s Scope
1 That Which Was Taken
1 Thopter Foundry
1 Thornbite Staff
1 Thran Dynamo
1 Trading Post
1 Vedalken Orrery
1 Ward of Bones
1 Bident of Thassa
1 Blind Obedience
1 Crackdown
1 Dream Tides
1 Leyline of Anticipation
1 Overburden
1 Spreading Plague
1 Tainted AEther
1 Tempered Steel
1 Austere Command
1 Beacon of Unrest
1 Black Sun’s Zenith
1 Decree of Pain
1 Demonic Tutor
1 Merciless Eviction
1 Cyclonic Rift
1 Frantic Salvage
1 Return to Dust
1 Spin into Myth
1 Swords to Plowshares[/spells]

[Creatures]
1 Sydri, Galvanic Genius
1 Hanna, Ship’s Navigator
1 Karn, Silver Golem[/Creatures]

[Lands]
1 Academy Ruins
1 Arcane Sanctum
1 Bojuka Bog
1 Buried Ruin
1 Command Tower
1 Darksteel Citadel
1 Evolving Wilds
1 Godless Shrine
1 Hallowed Fountain
1 High Market
7 Island
1 Marsh Flats
1 Mystifying Maze
1 Phyrexia’s Core
5 Plains
1 Strip Mine
5 Swamp
1 Temple of the False God
1 Terramorphic Expanse
1 Thespian’s Stage
1 Vesuva
1 Watery Grave[/Lands][/Deck]

For a deeper look, check out this TappedOut link. The “sideboard” contains the combo pieces and creatures I deliberately excluded. Aside from completeness, this ensures I don’t brilliantly “rediscover” one and jam it in thoughtlessly. When a combo popped up by accident, like Basalt Monolith and Rings of Brighthearth, I kept the cooler or more useful of the two and benched the other. (Although this deck can actually do zero things with infinite mana anyway.)

The “Maybeboard” is a bunch of other random stuff that was in but got cut for being weak, a non-bo, unnecessarily redundant, or something else.

I think it’s fairly obvious what the deck does. My metalhead dorks swing for two, but they aren’t creatures – oh and by the way, yours all don’t work like you want. There are some synergies to draw cards and recur stuff, and my muddy rocks can kill a fatty. I’m gonna need a LOT of blue mana. [Card]Crackdown[/Card] and [Card]Spreading Plague[/Card] look just not-staxy-enough that playing them won’t get me blacklisted. At least that’s my hope. I’m really excited about Noetic Scales. I also enjoy the subtheme of getting housed by the first spell-based combo deck that sits down.

Also, you’ll note just Demonic Tutor. No others. This is because I wanted every non-artifact to have a very good reason for its inclusion. This spot was actually Enlightened Tutor, but those are $12 and I have a few copies of DT so budgets won out.

So the question is, what now? I haven’t sleeved it up because I’m short a few cards and not ready to drop the dough on what I’m missing – yet – because it just doesn’t feel quite right. Goldfishing it online, it seems like it doesn’t do anything. So without obliterating my restrictions, help me out.

1. What tech am I missing?
2. Are there imbalances? Where?
3. Would you throat punch me after playing against this?
4. How can I make it hum a bit more and still be weird and fun?

<3

-Dave
@ MdaveCs