Three Cards Deep: The Good, The Bad, and the EDH Ugly

Three cards:

  • One is Rad: Surprisingly awesome card you’d be just as happy to see an opponent slam down as you would to rip it off the top.
  • One is Bad: It’s a bogeyman. Take a trip to frown town with these fun suckers, whether you’re casting or being tortured by them.
  • One is Sad: Often popular inclusions, these cards tend to let you down.

So I love dudes and I love turning them sideways. My whole playmat is a red zone. So this week, anthems. Make my anemic dorks good please!

The Rad – Muraganda Petroglyphs

Weird, build-around, semi-reader, domination. Here’s the thing. You pretty much have to play tokens, bear tribal, or centaurs to make this good. And if you’re playing tokens, probably snore. But if you do figure out a cool way to play tokens (I happen to think my Nemata, Grove Guardian deck is on the cool end of the spectrum), then you get twice the points for slamming down the glyphs and beating down with your super vanilla dorks.

Verdict: This ain’t no Tahitian vanilla bean. This is straight up McDonald’s vanilla ice cream good.

The Bad – Cathar’s Crusade

This could just be a meta-specific thing, but I’ve seen this card played exactly twice. Once in Ghave, Guru of Spores and once in Rhys the Redeemed. So it only does stupid, stupid things that are a huge pain to resolve. Yes, it’s just another card on the list of threats that are super powerful if they go unanswered for an untap or two.

But what’s worse is that dealing with this card when it goes off is SO BRUTAL. I have to be honest. I did it in Ghave once two. Turns out giving your general “1: make a Sap that has one higher P/T than the biggest sap on the board” is super, super good, but also leads to soo many dice and tokens on the board being tracked. Ugh. It is stupid.

Verdict: Dream the Dream, sure. But then just play Kraj if you want to durdle with dice.

The Sad – Glorious Anthem

I have an unusually strong dislike for essentially vanilla “your team gets +1/+1” anthems. It’s funny though, cuz the Planar Chaos-d green one is much better because of the relative scarcity of permanent anthems in green.

I love making my guys bigger. But modern technology has just obsoleted this Gloriousness. [Card]Marshall’s Anthem[/Card], [Card]Angel of Jubilation[/Card] (fun fact when I edited this I noticed I had typed “angle” instead of “angel.” What’s you’re “angle of jubilation”?), [Card]Spear of Heliod[/Card], and [Card]Mikaeus, the Lunarch[/Card] are all very close to strictly better. Plus, for some reason I just feel sad investing a card in an enchantment with one measly little static ability like this, most of the time.

Verdict: Power Creep Is Not a Thing. We Promise.

Weekly Lesson: Last week I knocked on Bloodline Keeper. I stand by my evaluation, because I think the nuance I suggested covers the points made in the comments. However, the other day a guy crushed with a turn-two keeper off of a turn-one Sol Ring. This week’s lesson was being reminded just how true the Menery Rule (referenced two weeks ago) actually is. “Gentlemen don’t cast Sol Ring on turn one.” Because things can get seriously bonkers even in EDH when that happens.