Hello again, friends! I hope the day finds you all well. We’re going to take it easy today; I’ve been a bit more prolific than usual this week, and I desperately need to let my aging writing bones rest a bit. (I’d hate to pull a literary hammy, after all…)
So before I draw a nice bath, put on the kettle, and get ready for some sweet crossword puzzle action in front of the TV (The Price Is Right! is on!), I’ll wrap the week up.
THE EVIL THAT MEN DO
It looks like this week unofficially ended up as “Evil Week” here at GeneralDamageControl.com:
–We started the week off by complaining about threat assessment again. It’s so much fun, and just never gets old! (Besides…I’m nothing if not consistent.)
-Today, we headed north to visit our good friends at CommanderCast. Mom taught me never to show up empty-handed, so I brought along a heaping helping of bitter fun wrecking mono-blue Venser, Shaper Savant.
(That’s just how I do it, folks. Much like Ice Cube, when I roll, I gots to roll deep. Or maybe it’s like Adele. I always get those two confused.)
-I thought I’d round out the week by taking a quick look at the general who’s going to be helming the return of my shiny Sphinx Of The Steel Wind:
If we’re going for evil, we might as well shoot the moon, right?
OH NO! WE SUCK AGAIN…
Before I head out for the weekend, I thought I’d leave you with a nice little short story to appease your appetites. (I know how much you all love watching me screw things up, after all…) Last night saw a few games go down at the Worlds Apart regular Wednesday EDH shindig; let’s fast-forward to the end of the second one:
I was playing Kresh, facing Mr. P with his Riku “Symmetrical Art!” deck, Perez with Oros Goodstuff, and Andrew with his Geth tribal zombies. (Dammit…Andrew is the guy with the Ulasht decklist I was supposed to get for y’all. Just remembered that now.) I had managed to totally piss off Perez through a series of plays that involved him playing a huge token generator of some sort, and me either playing or recurring from my graveyard Pernicious Deed, popping it with X = zero, and promptly beating him in the face with a hulked-out Kresh. (By the way…sorry Perez, but I maintain that this falls under the “Bribery” rule…if you target someone with Bribery or some other steal effect and there’s no other pending threat, you are morally obligated to smash the person you stole from with his own guy. I will also point out that it was not an “uncalled-for” play either time; you had Glory Of Warfare on the table, making your six 2/2 cats or ten 1/1 humans equally lethal to me at that point in the game. Take that for what it’s worth.)
Anyway, Mr. P had been eliminated at this point, and I had just targeted Perez with a Lavalanche that wiped his board; he had Grave Pact in play, so this effectively Wrathed the table. Andrew had been milling me left and right with Geth, which resulted in the good majority of my creatures (including Bloodshot Cyclops and Greater Gargadon) sitting in my yard. Andrew grabbed my Madrush Cyclops and Acidic Slime with Geth, and Perez did nothing much of consequence.
I untapped and drew Living Death. Also in hand:
I had the mana to play Fires and Living Death, and then Berserk the Gargadon and sacrifice Fires to bring it up to twenty power, which I could then use the Bloodshot to throw at Andrew’s head for lethal damage at instant speed; this part was critical, because Andrew would be dumping about a dozen zombies back into play off of the Living Death, one of which was Noxious Ghoul. Killing him in response to his triggers would let my team, which was substantially larger than Perez’s, live and follow up by attacking for the win.
Which leads us to…
MISTAKE #1 – How am I supposed to sacrifice Fires Of Yavimaya to grow the Gargadon, yet still be able to use Bloodshot to throw it at Andrew? I think my brain was convinced that somehow the Living Death would result in Andrew having to ship me back my Madrush Cyclops, which would then mysteriously end up in play as well. Terrible, right? That’s fine, though because I then make…
MISTAKE #2 by forgetting to play Fires Of Yavimaya before announcing Living Death.
What. The. Hell.
The net result was a ton of zombies, and not much else. I am the best Magic player ever.